=*(

I wish I could turn back time.

Happy?

I've been in a rut. Life is at a standstill. I feel lost. I'm thinking too far into the future.

I've been very unhappy. It's been like this for a very long time. I'd have to say, since about September 2009.

My mom asked me the other day "what makes you happy?"

I didn't know what to reply with. Sad, isn't it? Not that nothing makes me happy… but really, what sentimental things in life make me happy? Genuinely happy.

I ended up thinking really hard about this. I don't want to

list material object that make me happy; although there are a lot, haha.

I like being at home. That makes me happy. I'm a Taurus, and my personality lives up to the traits a typical Taurus should posses. Taurus individuals like their home space. They like to be comfortable. They love good hearty food. When I'm at home and can relax with no worries on my mind, I feel happy. I also feel happy when I'm spending time with my mom. She is my best friend. I don't know what I would do without her. We have a lot of fun when we are together. That makes me really happy.

I don't like to be bothered. When I'm bothered, I feel anxious. Anxiety is never fun.

Anyways, I always go off on tangents.

What else makes me happy? This is a material object, but makeup. When I have the spare time, I love to do makeup for fun. I love the outcome. Makeup has always been a passion of mine.

Driving on a sunny day with good music playing also makes me happy. It's so relaxing.

I really need to begin focusing on the positive things in my life, rather than dwell on the negative things. I need to find a way to be happy, even when situations in my life are bringing me down.

For the past several months, I've been stuck. Stuck in my job. Stuck in life. I don't think I've ever felt this lost. You go through elementary school and high school taking mandatory general course

s. Then you reach a point where you need to figure out something you enjoy doing. Then you have to peruse that thing in College or University. You study and study until you graduate. Then you find a job. Then you work, until you retire.

I think that's why I feel stuck. Knowing I'm finished school and it's time to be an adult and just work, really depresses me. I can't see myself sitting at a desk Monday - Friday 9-6 everyday of my life. I just can't do it. I will literally go stir crazy.

I guess that's what scares me. Living a dull, boring life. I need movement. I need excitement. I need to be free.

My goal is to one day have my own business. That's the type of pers

on I am. I can be very independent. I want to be my own boss.

What things make you happy in life?

I feel life has so much to offer. There is so much out there to experience and explore. I refuse to be bored in life.

P.S. Sorry, this post wasn't beauty related like I promised. Oops!

Long time, long time...

Hola! So I was reading my previous post, and I think I need to update a "random fact" I listed. I'm 100% vegetarian now. I haven't eaten poultry since about June, or July. I never ate meat or fish to begin with, so cutting out poultry was simple. I don't crave it - ever. I don't miss it what so ever. All my vitamins seem to be okay for now. (Yes, I'm deficient in B12 and Iron) but my protein is actually decent without supplements! (I guess it's all the tofu I eat!!!)

Anywho... I'm going to try to post here more often. I just keep forgetting about this place.

Life is so crazy right now. I began working full-time within the industry I went to school for (Graphic Design). It took me a good year to find something, but I knew I'd get a job when the time was right. I'm getting comfortable at my job, thank God. The first few weeks were brutal, but nonetheless, I feel at peace now. I have my bad days (more often than I'd like them to occur) but overall, I feel I've grown up and I'm so independent now. A lot has changed in my life throughout the past year or so... I feel I'm a totally different person. It's not a bad thing.

So this is just a quick update. I have to get to sleep now. My head is pounding (I've been getting MIGRAINES SO often now!) I hope when I wake up tomorrow morning, I don't see a spec of snow! We got hit with the first "snow storm" today! My drive into work was slow, but not as bad as I thought it was going to be!

Okay, goodnight. I'll leave you with this link that I know all my fellow graphic designers (especially those who freelance or who have freelanced before) will definitely enjoy!!!

CLICK HERE TO WATCH THE VIDEO!

Goodnight!

Next post will be beauty related, promise!

Twenty Five

25 Random Facts About Moi

1. I'm obsessed with animals.

2. I don't eat red meat, pork, seafood or dark chicken, or anything off the bone.

3. I'm obsessed with makeup... my collection is growing fast.

4. I'm a graphic designer.

5. I am near sighted; I need to wear my glasses most when I'm driving in the dark.

6. I have a HUGE heart.

7. I like working out, but I'm oh so lazy!!! So finding the motivation to actually get to the gym is hard sometimes.

8. I love to shop, it makes me so happy!

9. I am SO against animal abuse and animal testing!!!!!!!!!! ALL my makeup products are cruelty free, and if it means spending more money on cosmetics, then I'll do it.

10. Aside from graphic design (I'm a freelancer), I'm a manager at a tanning salon. Tanning is second nature to me, so my job is very simple.

11. Music is morphine for me.

12. I dwell on the past...

13. My lucky number is thirteen!! I'm getting it tattooed in roman numerals. I'm also getting my dog Zoie's name tattooed on me in a couple months (she passed away last year & was my bestfriend)

14. I hate discrimination.

15. Family is very important to me.

16. I'm obsessed with Angelina Jolie.

17. I don't do drugs, I don't smoke nasty cigarettes.

18. I don't want to grow up.

19. I'm SO freakin' stubborn... I'm a pure Taurus.

20. I'm too nice sometimes, and it gets taken advantage of...

21. I ADORE vegetarian Japanese cuisine... MMM heaven on earth .

22. I love to eat.

23. I have a distorted body image...

24. I have scoliosis, and I'm ALWAYS complaining about my back pain!!! & my entire body is uneven and crooked.

25. I have an OCD...

Holy Grail

My Holy Grail Products! Products I can not live without...

CONCEALER: I don't use concealer
LIQUID FOUNDATION: I don't wear foundation... no matter what brand, they all feel disgusting and oily on me.
POWDER: MAC Select Sheer Pressed Powder NW30
BRONZER: I don't use bronzer
BLUSH: Lately, TIPPY by Mac (Hello Kitty Collection)
LIPSTICK: NYX - Thalia
LIPGLOSS: Smashbox - Pout (MOST amazing lipgloss ever!)
EYE BASE: Urban Decay primer potion & Two Faced Shadow Insurance
EYELINER: Mac Powerpoint Pencil - Engraved

EYESHADOW: Mac - Vanilla, Mac - Stars N Rockets, Mac - Paradisco

MASCARA: Clinique Lash Doubling (AMAZING)

EXTRA: Clinique Pore Minimizer

Products I Swear By:

1. Clinique 3 Step Skin Care

• Step One: Liquid Facial Cleanser (Mild)
• Step Two: Clarifying Lotion (Exfoliating toner, strength 2)
• Step Three: Dramatically Different Moisturizing Lotion

2. St. Ives Facial Products

(When I run out of my Clinique products, or am low on funds, and can't afford Clinique, St. Ives is an amazing drugstore alternative)

• St. Ives Apricot Face Wash
• St. Ives Apricot Scrub

3. Smashbox Lip Enhancing Gloss

• This lipgloss is amazing! The formula is so smooth and not sticky and thick at all.

Logo Design

I've been doing a lot of research lately in regards to logo designs. I am a freelance designer, so it's tricky to know whether or not you are charging enough for a logo design. I think this article; [6 Reasons Why a Logo Should Cost More than your Lunch] really gave me more courage and confidence to charge a little more than I was charing. A logo is everything for a company; and that article really proves why they are worth so much more than people appreciate.

Pink Fish

I'm in love with Mac's Tinted Lip Conditioner from the Hello Kitty collection! The colour is called Pink Fish. It's such a beautiful soft pink tone, and works wonders for your lips! It's definitely conditioning and smooth. I keep rubbing my lips together because it's such a soft formula. I highly recommend this product from the Hello Kitty collection.