I've been in a rut. Life is at a standstill. I feel lost. I'm thinking too far into the future.
I've been very unhappy. It's been like this for a very long time. I'd have to say, since about September 2009.
My mom asked me the other day "what makes you happy?"
I didn't know what to reply with. Sad, isn't it? Not that nothing makes me happy… but really, what sentimental things in life make me happy? Genuinely happy.
I ended up thinking really hard about this. I don't want to
list material object that make me happy; although there are a lot, haha.
I like being at home. That makes me happy. I'm a Taurus, and my personality lives up to the traits a typical Taurus should posses. Taurus individuals like their home space. They like to be comfortable. They love good hearty food. When I'm at home and can relax with no worries on my mind, I feel happy. I also feel happy when I'm spending time with my mom. She is my best friend. I don't know what I would do without her. We have a lot of fun when we are together. That makes me really happy.
I don't like to be bothered. When I'm bothered, I feel anxious. Anxiety is never fun.
Anyways, I always go off on tangents.
What else makes me happy? This is a material object, but makeup. When I have the spare time, I love to do makeup for fun. I love the outcome. Makeup has always been a passion of mine.
Driving on a sunny day with good music playing also makes me happy. It's so relaxing.
I really need to begin focusing on the positive things in my life, rather than dwell on the negative things. I need to find a way to be happy, even when situations in my life are bringing me down.
For the past several months, I've been stuck. Stuck in my job. Stuck in life. I don't think I've ever felt this lost. You go through elementary school and high school taking mandatory general course
s. Then you reach a point where you need to figure out something you enjoy doing. Then you have to peruse that thing in College or University. You study and study until you graduate. Then you find a job. Then you work, until you retire.
I think that's why I feel stuck. Knowing I'm finished school and it's time to be an adult and just work, really depresses me. I can't see myself sitting at a desk Monday - Friday 9-6 everyday of my life. I just can't do it. I will literally go stir crazy.
I guess that's what scares me. Living a dull, boring life. I need movement. I need excitement. I need to be free.
My goal is to one day have my own business. That's the type of pers
on I am. I can be very independent. I want to be my own boss.
What things make you happy in life?
I feel life has so much to offer. There is so much out there to experience and explore. I refuse to be bored in life.
P.S. Sorry, this post wasn't beauty related like I promised. Oops!
